ffffffffffff
Saturday, 6 February 2010
What is this, I dont even.
I checked my bank account just now and discovered I have all of £3.76.
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKK!
I hate being skint. Will seriously whore myself out/sing/dance/escort/be tickled for money.
...
Sunday, 31 January 2010
FML.
Why did I leave Asia? I just missed the chance of a life time.
SHINee went to Singapore.
They held a fanmeet. At Lot1.
OHMYGOD WHY IS MY LIFE LIKE THIS! D:<
I'd feel so much better if say the fanmeet was like, at White Sands in Pasir Ris or something. But noooo, it had to be in Choa Chu Kang. At the mall that I used to frequent almost everyday. Which is within walking distance of my secondary school, and only takes me around 20 minutes to get to via snail-paced LRT. Aiiish.
Granted, the place was packed to the brim naturally, and only 1000 fans were actually allowed to go up to the boys which basically means I'd have no chance anyway, but still.
Ewww, chaos. But then again, it is SHINee.
According to fan accounts it was crazy, because obviously Lot1 isn't the biggest mall ever y'know, and so many fans were crammed in, plus there weren't any barriers or anything. At some point the crowds even damaged a big glass door; pushed it out of its roller tracks or something. What was security doing?
Those who couldn't get into the main event had to squish into the MRT station where the event was shown live on LCD screens. (Bad idea.)
...Okay, so maybe on retrospect, I wouldn't have gone anyway. It's just the irony and unfairness of it all that gets to me.
Fan account of autograph session:
Taemin was ridiculously adorable and gave everyone a cute eyesmile. He has perfect skin and practically glowed. Jonghyun looks a bit older in rl (/bricked) but was really friendly and chirpy. Key had an otherworldly presence--his skin is milky-white, his hair had nary a strand out of place and his cheekbones are out of this world. He also has really slitty eyes and god it's no wonder people usually have the impression he's mean, because his gaze is totally condescending (I'm not saying he is; just that he LOOKS it). He smiled a lot and I even heard him drawl hi at every fan. Minho had a nice deep voice and he said hello nice to meet you and even looked me in the eye. He really is as pretty as a girl. His eyelashes are so long they look like the fake ones. After signing the album (he has gorgeous hands) he said bye-bye and smiled again so cutely.
Why no Onew mention?
LQ picture is LQ, but Lee Jinki, you're gorgeous.
On an off note, what happened to Lot1? I wouldn't have recognised it from that first picture at all. Someone's told me it went under renovation, but hell, it must've been majorly changed.
1st post of 2010!
Saturday, 16 January 2010
The Best Things In Life:
Waking up and realising you still have a few more hours left to sleep.
Bubblewrap popping.
Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
Warm, sunny spots on park benches.
First kisses.
Making new friends and catching up with old ones.
Lie ins.
Singing in the bathroom.
Sweet dreams.
Watching a sunset.
Doodling on hands, arms, and lecture note margins.
Looking back at old photos.
Taking long, hot showers.
Lying on the edge of the beach so half of you is on the sand and the other is in water.
Lazy Saturdays.
Finding out that the person you like likes you back.
Curling up in a warm, squishy corner.
Starbucks fixes.
Discovering the perfect deep purple nail varnish.
Finding notes you exchanged with your friends during class years ago.
Knowing that somebody misses you.
i want you by my side side
Thursday, 31 December 2009
About five more minutes to go till the new year :)
Tbph, I'm not sorry to see 2009 go. Looking back, I can only say its been a year full of shitty feelings
On the other hand, the good things that occured this year...
I got to know who my real mates (both online & rl) are, friends in college have mostly been absolute sweethearts, and I've also never been more actively involved in fandom. Most of which only served to highlight the bad things mentioned above now I think about it, but hell, they were the only good times that I've experienced this year, if anything. Oh, and also, I pwned the rest of my family at mahjong just now during our last game of the year /flicks hair
A simplified list of resolutions:
- Embrace new changes that are coming, because there are bound to be some around the corner
- Give my best in college; I've only got to endure for a while more before uni & freedom
- Stop being so fucking pessimistic
- Spend more time with family (or at least make more of an attempt to); we'll be seperated once I go off to uni and they are y'know, family after all
- Accept what I cannot change, and also the fact that perfection is only a matter of perception
- Errr...lose weight..? LMAO
So people, a new year is upon us. It doesn't guarantee better times or less tribulations or easier shit to go through. It does however, give us time and a fresh start. I know it's a lot coming from a melodramatic, emotional, dysfunctional, bitchy character like me, but keep your chins up darlings; I'll at least be here for you guys.
2010 is upon all of us. C'mon Cat, its time to shine. ♥
HAPPY NEW YEAR, Y'ALL! 8D
shawtygotlow
Sunday, 27 December 2009
^click to be linked to article
OHMAIGOD I'M WELL CHUFFED.
Junho with soft curls holding a bulldog looking all happy and prection and squish and small next to Chansung. I cannot adore this boy more ♥_____________♥
/edit:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OK TAECYEON, RESIDENT SEXY BEAST OF 2PM!
(& me of course, since we share the same bday, but everyone already knows that lol)
everydayeverynight
Saturday, 26 December 2009
Last day to pass till I'm twenty.
So I found these errr support groups online for people who have a phobia of their twentieth birthdays. Guess I can't have been the only one huh. I suppose it doesn't really make sense to most people for me to say that I've been scared of birthdays ever since I turned nineteen last year. They'd likely slap me upside the head, tell me that "life starts at twenty-one", and send me away with an order to enjoy youth.
Whatever, I'm still apprehensive. I don't think I've accomplished anything worthwhile at all during my teenage years. Been through quite a lot of shit, yes, but actually do stuff worth mentioning in a bucket list, nope don't think so. And it really saddens me. What makes it even sadder is that if I had the chance to do it over again, I reckon I might not have enough strength and determination to face it all one more time. Who said that you get stronger as you grow? I think its the opposite for me; I'm on the brink of having existed for two decades now, but I feel weaker than ever. I've never had so many emotional battles with myself before, never had to second-think my decisions so much before, never felt such dissatisfaction with my life before. To be perfectly honest (and only because nobody really reads this blog for real anymore), I've never contemplated suicide more in a single year before either. I've even gone so far as to plan ending everything on my twentieth as well. Yeah I know I'm a melodramatic little shit.
& I'm not trying to sound like a whiny tween fucktard either, but life really is crap atm. College, friends, family, love, the future; I have no idea why things look so bleak. (tapping on Blake ideas) Is it because I'm losing Innocence and gaining Experience instead? Either way I look at things, it feels like I'm fucked. Who's going to tell me what I should do? Maybe they're right and I do need professional help after all.
Urgh shup Cat, I hate sounding so emo because people will only think its fake and that you're trying to attract attention and whatnot. I just read the entire post back and even I think it sounds fake. Only its not. Wtf why am I even attempting to explain things? D:<
メリクリスマス!
Friday, 25 December 2009
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! ♥